The Amazing Evergreen

Many of you have children. That means you remember having a 3-year-old. A 3-year-old doesn't really say much. HAHAHAHAHA. I just threw that in for my friends who don't have children. We all know a 3-year-old talks constantly. Constantly. And they really only ever want to know one thing: What is that? How does it work? How did it get made? What is this string for? Oops, how did it get broken? Where did it come from? How old was I when it got there? What is it going to be like tomorrow? Why? How? Yeah, but WHY?????

I like to answer all these questions, again and again. Much like I enjoy holding something heavy for a very long time. Because otherwise how could I get stronger and better? Patience is just another muscle, right? Let's flex that baby! Is that all you've got Jayd?? You're not even TRYING to wear me out!! In reality, I want to answer all these questions because she's thinking and learning, and for a very short time she wants to talk to ME. Constantly. I know I will ache for these days when she is 15 and in her room for 16 hours a day listening to some kind of music genre that hasn't even been invented yet.

Occasionally though, we get the treat of her explaining something to me instead of asking me to explain things. These are the sweetest moments. She is so matter-of-fact, and interjects appropriate teaching lingo like, "you get it?" It's cool sometimes to realize that she understands a concept that I wouldn't think is very important to her (ie, it doesn't have to do with princesses). Mommy, when you eat, that gives you energy. You need energy to do other things, like run in a circle with your friends before dance class. You get it? Yes Jayd, I get it. It's especially rewarding when she throws in, "you never knew how to get energy before! Now you do! Isn't that AMAZING?!" Haha. Yes, Jayd, that is incredible! Shortly afterwards she will say something like, "why isn't that car moving? Maybe they ran out of gas. Cars need gas for energy just like we need food." Yep! I have a baby genius on my hands. I KNEW IT.

And that brings me to the amazing evergreen. Jayd was telling me all about evergreens. "They stay green all year, and the cold doesn't kill them. But sometimes they die from other things..." I promise I'm listening, but I admit I'm sorta doing the mom uh-huh from the front seat while she talks and I'm also, sort-of going over the list of things I'm out to buy, thinking of the best way to hit the stores without letting frozen things melt or drive to the same area twice. "...And sometimes they blow over in wind, and sometimes they are cut down."

"uh-huh"

"And sometimes you take a pine tree and you put it in the oven to bake it and it turns more yellow and then you put sugar on it and you bake it again and that's how you get PINEAPPLE!"

"Wait, what?" LOL. Actually baby, pineapple is a whole different thing, but they both include the word pine, and they are both plants, and pineapple is sweet as if someone added sugar. As I say this to her I think to myself, SHE IS A GENIUS!  So if anyone is interested, I think I'm going to set up the Jayd school of horticulture. Because until now, you never even KNEW how we got pineapple. And now you do! It's AMAZING.

Almost as amazing as the evergreen.

In a time before the hashtag #isthatonewordortwo

Sorry I've been gone so long. My computer broke 18 months ago and we all know typing out an exciting blog on an ipad keyboard would take me the same effort as writing it out in blood from pricking my own finger. But I got a new laptop for Christmas, so I can start boring you again with my two obsessions - my super awesome amazing daughter and my running (note, nothing super awesome or amazing about that. But I love it).

So, about the hashtag. Many of you have seen the Justin Timberlake SNL video about this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57dzaMaouXA&noredirect=1
I don't belong to Twitter yet, so I haven't found the opportunity to excessively use the hashtag. However I do see it in everyone else's posts and #ikindofgetit. #Anyremainingthoughtafteryoursentenceendsjustgetsaddedhere. #omgitscrazy.

I would try to get some kind of old lady and behind-the-times paranoia about how my daughter will never learn when words end and new ones begin, except I have had this "compound word" problem my whole life. I don't think I'm alone either. My old boss once busted one of her employees for "not working" when he asked if spider monkey (spidermonkey?) were one word or two. She later busted me, actually, for asking how to spell Leprechaun, but that actually was sort-of about work, and also is completely unrelated to compound words. So just forget I mentioned it.

OK, OK, so I doubt you use the word(s) spider monkey every day. But what about carseat. I send a text that I'll just pick my daughter up from school and she can get a little catnap in her carseat. Which turns into a big mess, because my overbearing control freak of a phone wants me to use "real" words. It turns catnap into Camaro and Carseat into Corset. So suddenly my child is getting a Camero in her corset - which just sounds more uncomfortable than anything wimpy Scarlett O'Hara had to endure with her Mammy pulling on those dang strings to give her an 18 inch waist again. I mean, right? The holidays were unkind to my body, but I still doubt a Camero would fit into any of my undergarments.

So I guess I just need to learn how to separate my words. Maybe the hashtag is my saving grace. While I know it's supposed to be written never mind, I could still be right if I just wrote #nevermindthewholething #myworkhereisdone #desertgirlout