The secret to life - finally revealed.

Hahahaha. You thought I had the secret to life. That's cute. OK, anyone who sees me on a regular basis knows I'm having a medical issue lately. Called aging. I don't really mind growing old and plan to accept it gracefully - in about 40 more years. For now I'm struggling to kung fu fight a seemingly endless crew of aging-symptom-bad-guys. As soon as I slam one down, another one sneaks up behind me. Sometimes I lose.

Here's a little story about a giant, nasty, vein-thing that popped out of my right shin about 5 years ago. It isn't a spider vein. It's like a couple of night crawlers fighting underneath my thin shin skin. I'm sure I could have some kind of surgery to have it removed, or just have my leg cut off altogether. But for now I've just learned to accept that I have some creepy stuff going on that doesn't really bother me if I don't look at it. But sometimes I DO win. Sort of.

For example, I noticed those "fine lines" on my face looked more like a pug dog, so I bought some super awesome chanel face products. And Arbonne. And some others. The good news is, I really do think it's making an improvement! The bad news is, whenever someone says, "oh, you still look young, LK," my heart starts to race and I wonder if I can really afford $500 of face cream every six months for the rest of my life! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO????? I'm sure there are lots of good options. Like selling my blood or something. Is there a market for old lady blood? No? Hmmm.

The worst thing that can ever happen to a woman is that she can gain weight. (Yes, I'm aware of all the tragedy in the world and I'm just being sarcastic. This is a blog for goodness sake so stop being so serious). I run. I work out. I gained weight. I got more serious and measured my food on a scale. No change. I did a 24 day challenge (Well, 20 days, I gave up at the end) and still no real difference. Last night I was reading something that mentioned "unexplained weight loss." Who has that? What is that like? Oh hey, I had Mexican food last night and a couple of margaritas, but I'm down another 2 pounds. Yessssss! I know there are cancer patients out there who lose a ton of weight and aren't happy about it, but that is EXPLAINED. I want unexplained weight loss. So if someone has that, please email me and explain it to me. Thanks!

In the mean time, I'm going to go put some of Jayd's inheritance on my face. Have a great day!